I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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