why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
