Porn is love you can see.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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