He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
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