Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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