I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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