I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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