Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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