You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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