my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
