someone threw a dead crab at me
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
