We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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