I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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