Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize