Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
