He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize