You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
