I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Randomize
