dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
