How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
