i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
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