we have pet lesbian snakes
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
