living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Randomize
