I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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