What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
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