what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Well I just put wine in my tea
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
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