you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
