the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
