UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize