when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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