Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
