Tell her she can't have a vagina
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Randomize