where am i from again
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
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