first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
There was a lot of him and a little penis
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
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