Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
