Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
