we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
