my mouth tastes like poor choices
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
