what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
