i need an iv and a liver transplant
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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