i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Pants are for mortals
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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