He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
