I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
