no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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