I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
