Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
