Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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