You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
