susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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