Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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