My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
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