My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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