Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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