I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
He kissed a someone with a penis
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
