Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize