all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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