Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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