that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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