your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Randomize
