I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
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