Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
i dont even know how to be here
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
