worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
