What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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