I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize
